Monday, August 23, 2010

Oh my

What a day today. I'm sitting here, watching a beautiful sunset, being used to wearing clothes that are never dry do to sweat. I'm covered in the usual stuff, and then some, and I don't care. It's just the way it is here.

The rage is just a way of life. Everyone gets it at some point. Doesn't matter how many drugs or mosquito netting or deet - you're going to feel the rage at some point. It's come and gone all day for me.

There are many sick babies. It's like daycare or schools. One gets sick, then they all do. Hopefully it passes soon.

At lunch I went over to feed the toddlers. It was going so well. Wedley was in his seat, Jackson was on my lap, Odelande was between my legs. (I was sitting on the floor) Wedley's a chunk. Look him up on the website. He ate his entire bowl. You should see how big the bowls of food are. Jackson did so-so, then got up and left. Odelande starting eating like she'd never eating before. And I just kept shoving it in. Yah, then it happened. That sound that all mothers know. The one that makes you want to clear the area. I saw all of her lunch come back up and most of her breakfast. It was all over the floor, and all over my legs and feet. Oh my.

Needless to say, that kind of lunch doesn't do good things to the rage. I had to go back to the volunteer house to wash off, then get some water.

Josette seems to still be doing really well. I don't know how I'm going to leave her. She's started to hold my finger when I feed her. I love her smell. I know her sounds - I'm hungry vs. I'm pissed vs. I'm tangled in my mosquito netting vs. I see you and just want attention. Gotta let go and trust.

So much more to type but she's crying. Not sure I'll get back here later.


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