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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The emotions

I know. You don't hear from me all day yesterday, and all of a sudden there are 4 posts today. Everyone is sleeping so I've got two hands - AND the Internet is working. Call it a perfect afternoon!

My emotions are pretty raw right now. I could cry at any second, but don't want to in front of the staff, nannies, or the babies. I think it's mostly because of the frustration. Back home I could take every one of these kids to a pediatrician - some to Children's, some to Gillette, and max out a credit card to make some of their stuff better. I can't do that here. And it's really frustrating.

There's so much 'stuff' down here. CP, hydrocephalus, the heart condition. I wonder how they survive at all. God put them here for a reason, yet I found myself questioning what that reason could be. I think along the lines of a mom back home who has a very sick toddler - why would God do this? And if He didn't do it, why doesn't he take it away?

Don't worry - I'm not losing my faith by being here. Surprisingly, it's strengthening. I see people who commit months, years, their entire life to care for these children. There's God written all over that, if you ask me.

On a lighter note here, I will forever laugh at how the people walk their goats and cows out in the morning, tie them up to munch for the day, then bring them back home. Have you ever seen a cow tied in a ditch? Hilarious! I'm giggling about it now. It keeps me from crying.

Whoever prayed for cooler weather - THANK YOU! It's not cooler but there's an amazing breeze right now and total cloud coverage. Breeze + tons of sweat = a little bit cooler. Ahhhh. The skies are getting black. Wonder if I'll experience my first Haitian storm.

Someone please call Sofia and tell her how much I love her. Then please spend 30 minutes on the phone listening to Henry's ramblings.

One last thing - next time I'm bringing a pediatrician, a dentist and a VET! There are 3 dogs here.

4 comments:

  1. ‎"True joy and understanding do not come from comfort and safety; they come from epiphany born in exhaustion". I don't know who said it, but just saw it today and thought of you!

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  2. Anne Frank was quoted as saying "...how amazing that no one need wait single moment before starting to change the world."

    All of those beautiful children DO have a purpose, and God IS working in all of them! Through the work you are doing right now, the love you are sharing with them, the care you are giving, and the difference you are making....those children are fulfilling God's purpose....they are teaching you.

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  3. Hi Karen -
    Thanks so much for taking time to post on your blog and on fb. You are amazing, this experience is incredible and I hope you can keep smiling and think good thoughts. Be strong, be in the moment, and keeping praying for good things to happen.

    PS did you pack tums, or alka seltzer???

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  4. Hey Karen, thanks for keeping us updated, and giving us a glimpse of another part of the world most of us have not seen. Sometimes we get caught up in our own world, and forget the big picture. You are such an inspiration. Heather

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