Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The emotions leaked out today

Today has been very busy. Sweet little Josette is doing really well. She's been eating a lot and her diapers are very wet. YAY! Guerlin, with the heart condition, has acclimated very well. Most if his tears the first two days were just from being away from his mama. He's a playful little thing now, and has completely stolen my heart.

This afternoon I made the journey to Milot to visit the hospital. The ride in was interesting, to say the least. The kids would run out in the streets to wave at us. Many had no clothing on at all, some in just underwear. The houses, can I call them that? I don't know how the people live in them. I pray I will never complain about the size of my house again. It's a mansion by the standards down here. I have so much.

The smell. Dear God the smell. I cannot describe it. I can only tell you that I'm shocked when I saw people washing their clothes and their bodies in the water that's in the ditch. If I had to smell that all day I would not last here.

When we arrived in Milot I saw the tent community that was set up after the quake. Loads of people were brought in my helicopter because most of the hospitals in PAP were destroyed.

The hospital. I won't make it thru typing about this without sobbing. I wasn't expecting Children's, but I wasn't expecting this. Chaos is the only way to describe it. We went to drop off supplies for the two COTP babies who are there. What I learned is that the hospital will tend to the medical needs, and that's it. No feeding or changing. COTP has a nanny who stays with the babies 24/3, then they rotate out.

The room as a combo NICU/PICU. The babies broke my heart. Our little KenLove was there. While he's much older, his body was so much more frail than sweet Josette. I held him before we left. He was a bit tentative at first, but his frail body didn't have enough energy to protest. He slowly laid his head on my shoulder, and that's when I couldn't take it anymore. All of the Haitian women were staring at me as I sobbed. I tried to think of anything else, but all I could feel was KenLove's little head on my shoulder. God, please save him.

I pulled it together enough to help go pick up a bunch of docs from the US. They came back with us to tour, and answer questions about medical needs. They are with the babies now, which is the only reason I'm able to post.

A note for Jaclyn - here's another tear moment, but tears of joy. Jaclyn from Canada sent down about 20 canvas bags. I've been storing supplies in my room, slowing bringing them out so I don't overwhelm them with all there is. Jaclyn, they so need these bags. It's as though you knew it!! Two of the bags will be used to transport the supplies to Milot for the babies at the hospital. I know that a lot of love will travel along with them.

Along with the heartbreak, there are some pretty amazing moments. If you would have asked me Monday if I would come back here, my response would have been, "Absolutely not. And God, please get me out of here NOW!" Today, that response has changed a bit. While this is the most difficult thing I've done in my life, there is a purpose.

I miss my children. I miss my husband. Oh I miss air conditioning and my coffee every morning. But for this next week, I'll keep that to the side as I cherish my time here.

Just a note- you won't be seeing pics of the babies on this blog, even when I get home. For the safety of the children we are not allowed to post pics on the Internet. I'll print and email to anyone who requests. I've got some fun video as well.

Ok - time to sign off. There's always someone who needs to be fed.



  1. This is my first chance to connect with you this week. I'm glad to hear you are doing well and are feeling good about your trip. Those are very lucky babies to have you there right now. Good luck and keep safe. We're all thinking about you here.

  2. Thank you for all you do! Karen you are a true inspiration.

    I will take on your challenge tomorrow. No complaints from this one.

  3. You paint such an incredible picture through your writing Karen. Thank you for continuing to share your experiences with each of us. I read this quote today and immediately thought of you!

    "Courage is fear that has said its prayers."
    (Dorothy Bernard)

    Prayers flowing up as we speak! Love you Karen.

  4. Hi Karen...every time when i read ur post i will surely cried out..i know how u feel as i can feel ur pain too..looking at the babies ur taking care n will always make u think of ur babies at home..i know how much u missed them..Hang in there Karen..God always have a mission for u, its always a good blessing one as im myself i know i believe, trust n love God like u do...everything happen for a reason..

    I wanna thanks Dawn as she posted on my wall n then only i knew bout it..i just started to read the 1st line n i was burst out crying like a baby as a lil small gift is means so much to me n thank u so much for letting me to be apart of ur mission..Jeff n I we came across n talk bout it to adopt a baby from COTP in the coming future, adopt one baby mean we giving them life, hope, care n love..n im thinking if each of every couple/family in the whole wide world would just adopt could make a life changes to these babies/childrens..

    Thank u so much for sharing everything to all of us..more to come for ur babies there as i saw ur post of what these babies needs..we will be sending down some boxes newborn diapers n milk formula for now imagine now Daniel is having one can of formula every week n box of diaper every 2 or 3 weeks...what about there r so many babies in COTP which need more than what Daniel have..I always think what about if Daniel is one of the baby in COTP..couldnt imagine that as its breaks my heart

    Karen my dear friend, seeing u like a sister, u r truly inspired..heres some children quotes for u

    "Isn’t it so true. We should not love children only when they deserve it. We should love them all the time. Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it"

    “What is a home without children? Quiet.”

    Take care there sista..May God Bless u, babies n everyone there..luv ya!!! xoxo