It wasn't until a few months ago that I started praying. I mean REALLY praying. My work takes me to the other side of the cities so I get up quite early. Toss in a new running routine and my alarm now goes off at 4 am during the week. While I don't really enjoy running, I've decided to take my health into my own hands. I don't want to be one of those people who blames heredity or 'bad luck' for my poor health while popping pills, eating like crap and sitting on the couch all tired. But that's for another blog.
4 am is my time. I hop on the treadmill, try to clear out my mind, and start running and praying. First I give thanks for all He has given me. Next I pray for those in need or who are weighing heavy on my heart. Then I close it all out with, "Lord, please let me know what it is you want from me." As you know, all that praying business led to my postcard and this trip to Haiti.
The pastor at my church has heard many stories about my early morning prayers and the resulting Haiti postcard. He has walked with me on this journey to Haiti, even taking the time to write one of my recommendation letters to Children of the Promise.
On Thursday he handed me a book: Holy Discontent by Bill Hybels. I just hit an amazing section this morning. Let me share:
"We were all created to do good works. I was created to do good works. Just as confidently, I'm here to tell you that you were created to do good works, which explains how I know that you have a holy discontent banging around in your brain somewhere - if you're alive and kicking today, then there is a specific work that you are expected to do. There is a set of tasks with your name on it that God has given you to accomplish, and long before you actually arrived on the scene, God planted certain seeds in your soul that he remains whole-heartedly committed to watering, growing, and making into something meaningful, if you will let him."
It just struck me. God has been gearing me up for Haiti. He planted the seeds a long time ago. It took the post-earthquake coverage of Haiti to stir up the holy discontent in me. I've had all I can stand of starving and dying children, babies without parents, and people without hope that I'm going to work to raise money, collect bags with toiletries, and spend 10 days rocking babies and helping out those who have given their lives to these children.
When I accepted the postcard, God made some amazing things happen. Money for the trip, a place to volunteer, people donating money for the babies, an awesome company donating handbags and toiletries, and an amazing father for my own babies so I can leave them for 10 days knowing they are loved and well taken care of.
I get it now. Thank you Pastor Brian for the book. The door is open and I'm letting go and hanging on for the ride.
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