I had to stop

Hi little girl.  You've been on my mind a lot today.  It's really not different from any other day.

I asked COTP what size you're wearing, knowing that many of the items in your dresser won't fit anymore.  I knew that at some point I'd need to go through everything and take out the smaller sizes.  Thankfully everything is hand-me-downs and whatever doesn't fit will be shipped to Haiti for your friends to wear.

Today I decided to tackle your dresser.  There are such cute things in there waiting for you.  As I went through the first drawer, item by item, I was excited when I came across something that might still fit.  And I got a little sadder each time I had to take out something that's too small.

And then...I had to stop.  My heart started hurting too much.

It's hard to explain this to people.  The range of emotions, the tears at random moments, the fact that I'm living this whole other world in my head.  This world that tries to be in the here-and-now but never ever stops thinking about you.  Longing for you to be home.

Don't get me wrong, sweet girl.  Life is really good right now.  Your daddy is doing really well.  Your big brother and big sister are healthy and happy and loving school.  There's just...this hole.  In my heart.  In my world.

I know that you love the nannies and all of your friends there.  And I know that it's going to be a transition - from the heat and the brown faces and the Creole and the meals you're used to.

But my heart is ready.

I just want you home.

Let's build a house!

I'm a year older today.  If you read my post about kid's birthday parties you can probably guess that I could really care less that it's my birthday.  I don't need cake, cards presents, or even wishes.  True story.  I'm just not into my own birthday.

But I am on a mission today.  I'd like to get a house built.  In Haiti.  For an amazing organization.  It costs $2,500 to build a house - supplies and labor included.  Can you believe that?  What some people make on a single house payment in the US will build and entire house.

Let's build a house together.  Second Mile Haiti is an amazing organization that is in the process of building 12 homes.  Here's a blurb from their site:

We’re an organization focused on investing our time and attention on one (or twelve) struggling families at a time, at a point in their life which could be described as none other than crisis.  By building 6 small Haitian style homes (2 rooms with a shared wall), we will be able to offer 12 children a temporary safe place to recover. During the storm of severe malnutrition it is here that desperate mothers get a chance to regain their sea-legs on a sailboat known as care-giving in a sea called Haiti. Poverty, unemployment, hunger and disease threaten to tear families a part. We are offering them a chance to stick together, replacing death and disease with hope, healthcare training, and opportunities for economic advancement.

This organization is run by two women in their mid-20's.  I don't even want to think about all the irresponsible things I was doing at that age - like my Coach bag obsession or the importance I put on the wardrobe for my corporate job or how much I spent on just my hair.

*sigh*

Please consider making a donation today.  If we reach $2,500 I'll put the names of all the donors in a hat and Sofia will draw a name.  If your name is drawn you can name the house!!  Talk about leaving a legacy.

Just click here:  Second Mile Haiti

You'll be helping families stay together, and will be giving children all the birthdays they deserve.

Why Haiti?

That's a really good question.   I often ask myself - Why Haiti?

If you go all the way back to the start of this blog, you'll get the answer.  I was a 40 year old, mother of two, content with life, full-time working, church-going Lutheran who knew nothing about Haiti.  In reality, I most likely could not have found it on a map without the help of Google.

In January of 2010 there was an earthquake in this place called Haiti.  I watched the news, read the articles, looked at the pictures, and couldn't break myself away from finding out more about the island, the people, the needs.

At the same time I decided to tackle two things I was really neglecting - exercise and prayer.  What better way to accomplish both than waking up at 3:30am to hop on the treadmill and pray.  As you can tell, I'm a corporate-working mom.  If I can do two things at once and accomplish a goal, I'm all for it.

My prayers followed a format.  It helped me not forget things, and reminded me to pray for specific things.

1. Lord, thank you for all you have given me.
2. Lord, please watch over these people in need.
3. Lord, just what is it you want from me?

Every morning, at the end of my prayers:  Lord, just what is it you want from me?  I wanted my answer.  I wanted to hear that I was supposed to quit my corporate job and do something I always dreamed about.  In the comfort of my country.  

But God had other plans.

Through the course of my prayers I consistently heard that I needed to help the children of Haiti.  And as an earthbound, Lutheran church-going human I thought...

I'm watching too much CNN.  

It's obviously ME that's coming up with this nonsense - helping children in Haiti.  I need to turn off the TV, shut down the computer, stop looking and aching and longing to do something.

It's ME.  My mind.  My thoughts.  My craziness.

I had so much to learn.

At one point Jason and I had a conversation.  I told him about feeling...called.  I don't get it, I don't understand it, I don't know why.  But I have to go.

This 40 year old, content mother of two, needing to go to Haiti.  Alone.

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Many people have asked me:  Why Haiti?  Some have done it in a curious way.  Some in a loving way.  

Some in an accusing way.  After all, we have orphans and hunger and needs in the US.  Why Haiti?

My only answer is this:  Because God called me to.

I had no plans to leave the comforts of the US.  I had no plans to have my eyes opened to how much of the rest of the world lives.  I had no plans to have my world completely rocked when I saw and held and kissed orphans.  

The prayers led to a trip.  The trip lead to love.  The love lead our family to adoption.

I never would have imagined...

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What is He calling you to do?  What does your heart ache about?  What are the thoughts that never leave your mind?  What are the whispers you are hearing?

Be still.  Pray.  And listen.  All He wants...is for you to ask.

Bracelets for sale!

We are selling Apparent Project bracelets - which will benefit our adoption, and families in Haiti.

Bracelets are $8 each - free shipping.  You can request a specific color scheme, but as you can see, the bracelets are multicolored and look great with anything.

There are also unisex bracelets available.

All bracelets come with the story of the individual who made them.  It's touching to read what each individual is working towards.  Some want to save enough money to get out of a tent, some are saving money so their kids can go to school, and many are using the sales to feed their kids.

We have to ship unsold bracelets back the week of April 9th, so please order early!  Simply email me at: karen.gigure@yahoo.com

You can pay via check or Paypal (using the email address above).

On a different note, I just noticed the Lilypie ticker above.  10 months.  It makes this mama sigh.