Thursday, January 31, 2013
Oh the things people say
The big news of the day: SHE'S COMING HOME!!
While I won't believe it until she's in my arms and her little feet are on the carpet in this house, she really is coming home. I can't even describe how this process has changed me. I've aged. My hair has more grey in it. My face has more wrinkles. I may have put on a couple more pounds. Oh how I wish I was a stress exerciser.
As I approach the most significant trip of my life, I thought it would be interesting to share some of the things we've heard and been asked during this journey. I have a response to all of them, but I'll let you imagine what it would be. Some are shocking. Some are clueless. Some are said out of genuine caring and compassion. This is only a partial list.
I could never adopt.
I'd love to adopt, but it's just too expensive.
How could you do this to your kids?
What if she has issues when she gets home?
How much did she cost?
You have to PAY for a kid? You'd think they'd give them away for free.
Why does it take so long? (If I had a dime every time that was asked...)
I could never love a kid that wasn't my own.
You have lost the most critical years of her development.
Your kids are going to just wake up one morning and a new kid is going to be there. Don't you think that will be hard for them?
You understand that you're just supporting corruption, right?
Is she one of those lost kids because of that tsunami? You know, the one where all the parents died.
What happened to her real parents?
She is so lucky!!
Ok. I've got to address one of them. I know this comment is said out of love and excitement. It's one we hear all the time. But I feel it needs to be addressed - the little girl and her luck.
Adoption is born out of a tremendous amount of loss. There is significant pain in adoption. The little girl lost everything. She lost her world. She lost her family. For over two years she hasn't had a mommy to rock her when she had a fever. She hasn't had a daddy to kiss her boo-boos. She hasn't had a brother or sister to teach her the alphabet or her colors. She hasn't had her own bed, her own clothes, or even a warm bath.
No. The little girl is not lucky. We are the ones who are completely blessed in this process. The adoption journey has changed our family. It has changed the way we talk. It has changed how we spend our money. It has changed how we view the orphan crisis. (I cannot sleep at night when I think about 152 MILLION children who don't have a parent.) I have made friends with amazing people I never would have met if it wasn't for this journey. The relationships with my friends here has strengthened as they listened to my stories, helped wipe away my tears when there was another setback, and gone out of their way to make sure the little girl has everything she needs when she gets home. We have felt love and support from friends, family and strangers.
There is no luck. Only blessings.
Stay tuned. The big event is almost here!