Sunday, November 11, 2012

8 more weeks

I want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who shopped with purpose during the Delicate Fortress Creations fundraiser for Jason's upcoming trip to Haiti.  You helped to raise $527 which will be used to cover some of the costs of the projects he'll be working on.

Thank you!

This past week I traveled for work.  I was in a pretty intense training session, and thankfully pretty distracted.  The length of the adoption has started to wear on me, especially as we approach the holiday season.  In addition her 3rd birthday is just around the corner.

Any adopting parent understands the severe email addiction during the adoption process.  Every ding or buzz causes a reaction to instantly check email.  We were in the middle of some pretty intense conversation when the buzz happened.  Instinctively I grabbed my phone to see who had emailed.  99% of the time it's one of my sisters or SPAM.  But this time was the 1% - it was from our agency.  The title was benign:  Archive process.  My heart skipped a beat.  We've been waiting for a document to come out of Archives so we can proceed in MOI, then eventually to passport.

My heart stopped and everything went fuzzy when I started to read:  I hope you're doing OK today, because I have some news that's not pleasant to pass on...

It's hard to describe the emotions that went through my body as I continued reading.  I stopped hearing all outside conversations.  I started biting my lip because I was about to start sobbing.

One.  More.  Setback.  Why?

I quickly set my phone down, knowing there was nothing I could do with the news.  I needed to focus on the training and try to get my mind to stop thinking about what I just read.  Every moment my thoughts turned to her I had to do everything in my power to keep from sobbing.  The stress started racing towards my back.  My sorrow had to be expressed somehow.

The short explanation is that the office has 'lost or misplaced the book' in Archives.  We're at a complete stop right now and will have to start this step completely over when they find or replace the book.  I don't understand what it means, only that I was told this is another delay of at least 8 more weeks before we even get to the passport stage.

Delays.  Everywhere we turn.  Delays.

We have emotions and opinions about what's going on, but none of it will change a thing.  We are at the mercy of the process.  And so we wait.

We got a tiny piece of hope that there might be a 'break' in what's happening.  Again, I have no idea what it means.  I'm trying to keep life moving forward, expecting there will not be any positive news on Monday.

But come Monday I know I'll be captive to the buzz of my phone.

1 comment:

  1. As a mommy who just got back from visiting my babies in Haiti, I know how to pray for you. The process you describe is not unfamiliar in my life. I can offer no magic words of comfort but I can say you are not alone in your journey. Take heart.