Pages

Monday, February 13, 2012

Do not be afraid

I'll be the first to admit that I had fears before our trip to Haiti.  I knew everything was going to be fine, but the irrational Karen thought of every single thing that could go wrong.  Six Seven flights, leaving our kids for the first time, places we've never been, depending on others.  It was enough to make me sick to my stomach.

On the flight down I read a book called Kisses from Katie.  While my sweet friend Kara thought it was the wasn't the best choice (she was kinda right - I was crying on the plane) it ended up being the best thing I could have read.  Here's an excerpt:

"Jesus called His followers to be a lot of things, but I have yet to find where He warned us to be safe.  We are not called to be safe, we are simply promised that when we are in danger, God is right there with us.  And there is no better place to be than in His hands."

I can't tell you how many times people said, "Be safe" before I left.  Yes.  I had fears about many things.  But our God is bigger than my fears.

The following scripture kept going on in my head: "From everyone who has been given much much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much will be asked."  Luke 12:48

Much was asked of us.  We were asked to leave the comforts of our home and our daily lives to travel to an unknown.  We were asked to work hard to bring a little girl home to be part of our family.  We were asked to shake up a lot of our world to make it all happen.

From everyone who has been given much...

From Katie's book:

"The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children.  And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians.


The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left.


This is the truth.  I have the freedom to believe it.  The freedom, the opportunity to do something about it.  The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know, I am responsible."


On Saturday and Sunday we spent the day with a few of those children that He loves dearly.  We got to meet a little girl for the first time.  A little girl full of spunk and attitude and the greatest hugs a mother could ask for.  One who I can already tell will be sassy and big trouble when she's finally home with her brother.  One who I was in love with before I ever met her and I cry now thinking about leaving her.

This is a long journey to bringing her home.  It's filled with challenges and unknowns and a few times I've wanted to vomit my guts out.  But He has called us to fight for her.  To fight for these children.

The least of these.

God never said it was going to be easy.  But He did say He'd be by our side the entire time.

I have felt Him with us this entire trip.

5 comments:

  1. Sounds like I was wrong about the book;). Glad you are a friend on this journey!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Karen-
    That was beautifully written. Great reminders that we are in His care and that we need not be afraid. Sounds like your trip was amazing. Can't wait to hear more about it and hopefully see some photos
    ;-)

    -Kate

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Karen, I found your blog a few months ago through "Darling Kate and Ellie Dear". I have been lurking and reading and finally decided to comment. I too am adopting from Haiti, and your blog tonight was a gentle reminder that I am not alone in the wait. My friends travelled to Haiti yesterday to pick up their twin girls, and while I rejoice with them, I have been wallowing a bit as well since facebook has been abuzz with happy pics and joyful posts while I sit here waiting day after day with no news whatsoever. This experience has definitely been a huge life lesson from God. I have been having to purposely choose to believe Him when He says "I have a plan" these last few days. Anyway, just wanted to inttoduce myself and let you know that I am out here in cyberspace praying for us all.
    Blessings, Mama Maphada

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for your note, Mama Maphada. I feel your pain. I rejoice when I hear about kids going home, and cry knowing mine is far from coming home. Our agency doesn't allow us to visit our kids. We were only allowed a short time with her, and were not allowed to tell her who we were. But it must have been obvious.

    If I were to blog my true feelings right now, it wouldn't be the most positive post. I've returned from Haiti cynical. It seems like a miracle that any child makes it home. The process is long and flawed and full of opportunities for mistakes. While that is always on my mind, I know that I have to trust. I have to trust that all of our kids will get home.

    I find comfort in talking to other people who 'get it'. No one knows these emotions better than another mother.

    Some day we'll look back on all of this and smile, as we cuddle our beautiful girl. Thanks for reaching out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You're welcome. And I totally get it! My mom had to listen to my true feelings earlier and she must have thought I was crazy. I absolutey believe God is who He says He is, that He loves the orphan, and that He is fighting for us all...but that doesn't make the pain and frustration any less. I totally want to throw an all out toddler temper tantrum right now, and the only thing keeping me from doing it is "Be still and know that I am God" verse running through my mind.
    It is definitely a flawed system. I just keep reminding myself that everyone in office in Haiti, those who are in authority over IBESR etc. are all there because God placed them there.
    Longing for the day we look back with a smile,
    Mama Maphada :)

    ReplyDelete