If you go all the way back to the start of this blog, you'll get the answer. I was a 40 year old, mother of two, content with life, full-time working, church-going Lutheran who knew nothing about Haiti. In reality, I most likely could not have found it on a map without the help of Google.
In January of 2010 there was an earthquake in this place called Haiti. I watched the news, read the articles, looked at the pictures, and couldn't break myself away from finding out more about the island, the people, the needs.
At the same time I decided to tackle two things I was really neglecting - exercise and prayer. What better way to accomplish both than waking up at 3:30am to hop on the treadmill and pray. As you can tell, I'm a corporate-working mom. If I can do two things at once and accomplish a goal, I'm all for it.
My prayers followed a format. It helped me not forget things, and reminded me to pray for specific things.
- Lord, thank you for all you have given me.
- Lord, please watch over these people in need.
- Lord, just what is it you want from me?
Every morning, at the end of my prayers: Lord, just what is it you want from me? I wanted my answer. I wanted to hear that I was supposed to quit my corporate job and do something I always dreamed about. In the comfort of my country.
But God had other plans.
Through the course of my prayers I consistently heard that I needed to help the children of Haiti. And as an earthbound, Lutheran church-going human I thought...
I'm watching too much CNN.
It's obviously ME that's coming up with this nonsense - helping children in Haiti. I need to turn off the TV, shut down the computer, stop looking and aching and longing to do something.
It's ME. My mind. My thoughts. My craziness.
I had so much to learn.
At one point Jason and I had a conversation. I told him about feeling...called. I don't get it, I don't understand it, I don't know why. But I have to go.
This 40 year old, content mother of two, needing to go to Haiti. Alone.
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Many people have asked me: Why Haiti? Some have done it in a curious way. Some in a loving way.
Some in an accusing way. After all, we have orphans and hunger and needs in the US. Why Haiti?
My only answer is this: Because God called me to.
I had no plans to leave the comforts of the US. I had no plans to have my eyes opened to how much of the rest of the world lives. I had no plans to have my world completely rocked when I saw and held and kissed orphans.
The prayers led to a trip. The trip lead to love. The love lead our family to adoption.
I never would have imagined...
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What is He calling you to do? What does your heart ache about? What are the thoughts that never leave your mind? What are the whispers you are hearing?
Be still. Pray. And listen. All He wants...is for you to ask.
Love this.
ReplyDeleteI love how you put this - that God's calling for us can in the simple things. Not like a voice loud, booming voice from heaven, but whispers and desires in our own hearts.
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